Short status for whatsapp

1. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
2. Good girls are bad girls, who never get
caught.
3. I didn't change, I just woke up.
4. You are so awesome that, my middle finger
salutes you.
5. Silence is better than lies.
6. I am not lazy, I just rest before I tired.
7. Be what you want to be, not what other
wants to see.
8. If “Plan A” didn't work. Don’t worry; the
alphabet has 25 more letters.
9. Do what is “Right”, not what is “Easy”.
10. If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
11. I’m not perfect, I am original.
12. All girls are my sisters except you.
13. I am only responsible for what I say, not
for what you understand.
14. I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why
I’m right.
15. Before you judge me, Make sure that
you’re perfect.
16. Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial
killer.
17. You can do anything, but not everything.
18. Having one child makes you a parent,
having two makes you a referee.
19. All my life I thought air was free, until I
bought a bag of chips.
20. I never make stupid mistakes, only very-
very clever ones.
21. I don't always have time to study... but
when I do, I don't.
22. Sometimes you just need some space, to
fart.
23. At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.
24. I had a horribly busy day converting
oxygen into carbon dioxide.
25. The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is
weight.
26. Dry fruits are just fruits that have become
senior citizens.
27. When you drop your phone, your heart hits
the ground before your phone does.
28. That moment when even Caps Lock can’t
express your anger.
29. (-_-) x 1.3 Billion people = China
30. Dear Samsung, please also start selling
jeans that can accommodate your
smartphones.
31. Sometimes the only one, who can
appreciate you, is you.
32. Don’t steal, the government hates
competition.
33. You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30
day trial has gone.
34. I'm pretty sure my prayers go directly to
God's spam folder.
35. I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see.
36. I never make the same mistake twice.
Three, four times maybe. But never twice.
37. They say that alcohol kills slowly. So
what? Who’s in a hurry?
38. A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
39. You don’t realize how many clothes you
have, until you wash them.
40. When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant,
aren’t you a waiter?
41. Try to say the letter "M" without your lips
touching.
42. Kidnapping? I prefer the term “surprise
adoption”.
43. Weird is a side effect of awesome.
44. If girls could read minds..Every second a
man would get slapped.
45. Relationships are a lot like Algebra. Have
you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
46. Think twice before you speak, you'd be
able to say something more Insulting.
47. I Was Born Cool, Global Warming Made
Me Hot.
48. I love my six packs so much; I protect it
with a layer of fat.
49. I always learn from mistakes of others,
who took my advice.
50. I heard you took an IQ test and they said
you’re results were negative.
51. If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM
NOT GOING”.
52. You don’t have to like me after all, I’m not
a Facebook status.
53. I don`t have a bad handwriting, I have my
own font.
54. Hey, I found your Nose; it was in my
business again.
55. Reading texts half asleep is like looking
into the sun.
56. If you`re texting two people at the same
time, you are biTextual.
57. Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce
her to your wife.
58. I don’t make mistakes, I date them.
59. My girlfriend is like my iPad...I don`t have
an iPad.
60. The longer the title the less important the
job.
61. My opinions may have changed, but not
the fact that I am right.
62. When in doubt, mumble.
63. By the time you learn the rules of life,
you’re too old to play the game.
64. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a
fine for doing well.
65. Women should not have children after 35.
Really… 35 children are enough.
66. Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
67. If you hurt my best friend, I will make your
death look like an accident.
68. Never have more children than you have
car windows.
69. God must love stupid people- he made so
many!
70. I like children. Properly cooked.
71. Until I was thirteen I thought my name
was 'Shut up'.
72. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
73. The worst distance between two people is
misunderstanding.
74. If women could read minds, every second
man will get slapped.
75. I am not failed, my success is just
postponed.
76. Do it today, It might be illegal tomorrow.
77. The greatest pleasure in Life is doing what
people say you can’t do.
78. If you don’t stand for something, you will
fall for anything.
79. God made every person different, He just
got tired by the time he got to china.
80. Some people just need a High-Five, on the
face.

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Best Whatsapp Status

1. Had a really great "Night Out" last night,
According to my police report.
2. I will win, Not immediately But Definitely.'
3. If you're talking behind my back, you're in
a good position to kiss my ass!
4. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your
own problems, I'm tired of solving them for
you.
5. The road to success is always under
construction.
6. Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever
will.
7. Born to express not to impress.
8. Silent people have the loudest minds.
9. Sometimes it's easier to pretend you don't
care, than to admit it's killing you.
10. You cannot stop the waves but you can
learn to surf.
11. Life is like photography, You use the
negatives to develop.
12. Two things are infinite: the universe and
human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the
universe.
13. War doesn't determine who's right. War
determines who's left.
14. When someone says, "You've Changed", It
simply means you've stopped living your life
their way.
15. If you want to make your dreams come
true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.
16. I don't have dirty mind, I have Sexy
imagination.
17. Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need
a cigarette to think.
18. You never know how strong you are, until
being strong is the only choice you have.
19. You have to be ODD, to be number ONE.
20. When life puts you in tough situations,
don't say, why me? Just say, try me!
21. I stopped fighting with my inner demons.
We are on the same side Now.
22. If people are trying to bring you 'Down', It
only means that you are 'Above them'.
23. Failure is the opportunity to begin again
more intelligently.
24. The greatest advantage of speaking the
truth is that you don't have to remember what
you said.
25. Nothing in the world is more common
than unsuccessful people with talent.
26. Be a good person, But don't try to prove.
27. Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
28. Some people are alive only, Because it's
illegal to kill them.
29. I am not failed......My success is just
postponed.
30. If you like me Then raise your hand, If not
then raise your standard.
31. When i was born..Devil said.."Oh Shit..!!
Competition".
32. I work for money, For loyalty Hire a Dog.
33. I am always right, Once i thought that I
am wrong, But i was wrong.
34. I know i am something, Because god
doesn't create garbage.
35. If you are gonna be two-faced, Honey at
least make one of them pretty!
36. When nothing goes right..!! Go left.
37. If you can't convince them, Confuse them.
38. I love to walk in fog, Because nobody
knows i am smoking.
39. I am not drunk, I am just chemically off-
balanced.
40. Oh, So you wanna argue, Bring it. I got
my CAPS LOCK ON.
41. I am so poor that i can't pay attention in
class.
42. Warning...I know KARATE.......And few
other oriental words.
43. I used to be an atheist, But then i realized
i'm God.
44. Never make eye contact while eating a
banana.
45. Success is like being pregnant everybody
congratulates you, But nobody knows how
many times you got fucked to get there.
46. I am not virgin, My life fucks me
everyday.
47. Nothing is over until you stop trying.
48. Person you love is 72.8% water.
49. I talk to myself because i like dealing with
a better class of people.
50. People say, you can't live without love...I
think oxygen is more important.
51. 80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20%
are having brain.
52. When everything comes your way.. Then
you are on the wrong way.
53. she's so fake, if you look behind her neck.
I bet it says "Made in china".
54. I drink to make other people interesting.
55. If at first, you don't succeed..Keep
flushing.
56. Save water drink beer.
57. Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack
of opportunity.
58. Not all men are fools, Some stay
bachelor.
59. Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is
blind but the neighbors are not.
60. His story is History, My Story is Mystery.
61. Phones are better than girlfriends, At
least we can switch off.
62. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
63. The difference between stupidity and
genius is that genius has its limits.
64. If you don't succeed at first, hide all
evidence that you tried.
65. Stop worrying about the world ending
today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
66. Cell phones these days keep getting
thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
67. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it,
it doesn't contain any calories.
68. I love my job only when I'm on vacation
69. Friends come and go, but enemies remain
and build up.
70. Never test how deep the water is with
both feet.
71. The richer you get, the more expensive
happiness becomes.
72. Parachute for sale, used once, never
opened!!
73. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the
same way.
74. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half
sneaky neighbors dog.
75. Behind every successful man is a
surprised woman.
76. In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just
the decision maker.
77. I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
78. That's the secret to life... replace one
worry with another.
79. If there is a "WILL", there are 500
relatives.
80. How is a poor man a lot like a rich man?
They both have an iPhone.
81. Some people call me Mike, you can call
me tonight.
82. When inspiration does not come to me, I
go halfway to meet it.
83. Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
84. Sometimes you succeed.... and other
times you learn.
85. There are three sides to an argument -
your side, my side and the right side.
86. When there's a will, I want to be in it.
87. Failure is not an option -- it comes
bundled with Windows.
88. I always dream of being a millionaire like
my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
89. I believe there should be a better way to
start each day... instead of waking up every
morning.
90. When I was kidnapped, my parents
snapped into action. They rented out my
room.
91. Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal
my status 
92. I'd rather have honest enemies than fake
friends.
93. My "last seen at" was just to check your
"last seen at".
94. Not always "Available".. Try your Luck..
95. Hey there whatsapp is using me.
96. I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.
97. You can never buy Love....But still you
have to pay for it.
98. Totally available!! Please disturb me!!��
99. “Success” all depends on the second
letter.
100. Life is Short – Chat Fast!

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